It Works!

We hope you enjoy this submission by Dr Jessica Gurvit:

It was Don Season and not really knowing what that meant, I studied the teachings and took them to heart and made sure that my practice included the Protector Chant as well as preparing myself to be mindful of obstacles and to use them as my “teachers” when and if they appeared.

Well, I think the Obstacles mistook my intention as a printed invitation to come to my Obstacle Party – a get together I was throwing just for them. The party started when I woke up one morning with severe back spasms that can only be compared to contractions experienced during childbirth minus any epidural. Any movement set off excruciating spasms followed by screams muffled by day and shattering by night. If that wasn’t enough my range of movement was so restricted that when something fell to the floor it might as well have fallen into a rabbit hole never to be retrieved again. Days took on a new agenda, occupied by trying to sit and once sitting trying to figure how to get up.

For the first time during an emotional and physical challenge I was able to keep it together enough to turn to my practice to help me cope with being physically debilitated, humbled psychologically and at times devastated emotionally.

Because of my awareness that any movement could set off an excruciating spasm I had to become very mindful of every gesture I made which became a very beautiful practice. The situation I found myself in also was helped by my view of impermanence so that no matter how scared and painful the spasm was I knew it would not last forever. Impermanence gave me a lot of comfort, Then I began to experiment with the pain itself. The first two days I was so fearful that my relationship to the pain was to reject and resist it- sometimes hating it. Remembering that all feelings are welcome I began to experiment with moving toward it fully and accepting it even if making friends with it was a stretch I was able to relax into it. I learned that after fully feeling the spasms there was always a gap of total release and relaxation that for a few seconds left me free to move without discomfort.

Last I had to face my fears – coming to grips with having to let go of my addictive patterns that bolster who I think I am – that identity that depends on physical well being, independence and much more…..

When something happens that rocks our world it is a great opportunity to step out of our usual identity and ways of doing things. So, while I was eager for the Obstacle Party to end and for my uninvited guests to depart – I said a mindful THANK YOU to each of them because with each encounter my practice was strengthened and I could experience first hand that the many hours of reading Dharma and sitting meditation has enormous practical value.

I can happily and honestly say, Ki Ki So So
IT WORKS